Top 10 GH Songs Guaranteed to Rape You in the Face

  Guitar Hero pretty much kicked off the whole rhythm game “craze” so we thought we’d take a look back at the most finger-breaking-name-taking-ball-breaking songs from the best two GH games.  This list will not include Guitar Hero (the first one) because I got GHII first and never cared to get Guitar Hero.  This list will also not include GH: Rocks the 80s  because we’re not flaming queerbags (or we just didn’t buy it).  All ranks are determined by the Rape Scale on Expert.  Let’s get started.

10.  Institutionalized by Suicidal Tendencies (which I had while playing this song)

A difficult song overall but in the end can be overcome by some clever star power and a bit of training.  A formidable foe.

9.  F.C.P.R.E.M.I.X by The Fall of Troy

Actually a remix of a song called F.C.P.S.I.T.S.G.E.P.G.E.P.G.E.P. by an earlier incarnation of the band called The 30 Years war.  It features a mind-numbing riff along with speed that will get to you sooner or later.

8. Slash Battle (DLC) by Slash

An original track made by Slash himself just for Guitar Hero III, it’s one long solo and will not let go.  Star power can barely even save you.

7. Psychobilly Freakout by Reverend Horton Heat

I HATE THIS SONG.  It’s quite possibly the lamest song on GHII but yet it’s one of the most difficult.  Kind of the F.C.P.R.E.M.I.X of the second installment in the GH franchise, it was fast and mind-numbing except this one is gay as well!

6. Raining Blood by Slayer

A finger mauling delivered to you straight from the 80s!  You enter the song thinking “Sweet, I’m in the last bracket of GHIII!”, you play the song “Cool riff!” then the solo…….  My brain sploded when I hit the solo for the first time.  The first true face rape I had experienced (besides Jordan).  Fortunately for you, this song can be easily slain (PUN ATTACK) with a little well-placed star power.

5. Cult of Personality by Living Colour

Yeah, so pretty much the song is one lame riff and then WOOSH, solo, which is the only good part.  The song itself is pretty lame but the solos are amazing, not to mention face raping.  +Points for sounding like “I’m the DotA” near the end.  Google it.

4. Free Bird by Lynyrd Skynyrd

Every redneck’s epic song, now in plastic “guitar” controller flavor!  It’s like, 3 minutes of boring epicness, then 3 minutes of exciting epicness.  Takes too long to get to the fun, but once you’re there it’s mind-melting.  Again, a little star power and you’re through, but still a challenge.

3. The Devil Went Down To Georgia originally by The Charlie Daniels Band

Yeah, it took me like literally, 25 tries to nail this one.  The Devil will rape you with lefty flip.  NO EXCEPTIONS.  I feel like they seriously butchered a great song for GH but I guess it wouldn’t have worked out very well if they left it as fiddles…  Oh well.

2. Jordan by Buckethead

A spiritual experience for most, Jordan taught us what being a Guitar Hero meant, and that we just weren’t ready.  I have admittedly never beaten this song, just not that dedicated.  Major kudos to the FCers of the 2nd most infamous song in Guitar Hero history.  Remember, just get to the Blue Note of Freedom and you should be fine.

1.  Slow Ride by Foghat

Slow Ride is an amazingly complex song because of it’s mind thrashing solos blah blah blah OK we’re just kidding but we wanted to throw you off.  JUST KIDDING, CHILL OUT.

We all know of course that it’s the mysterious piece of guitar mastery know as TTFAF or Through The Fire and the Flames by Dragonforce.  There’s not much to say.  The intro itself boggles my mind to bits.   I highly doubt that even the original guitarist can play this successfully more than 3/10 times.  Pure and raw absurdity and gluttony at it’s best.